I don’t do well with disappointments. If fact I really don’t do disappointments. When I’ve got something in my head about whats happening or going down, its concrete.
Now obviously they happen. That moment you get the message that something is not happening the way you planned or perceived and that is not a good moment.
This morning I heard the Poet Laureates cancelled their tour through Fort Davis. This is not a place of cultural events, so those that are planned are treasured. The best cultural event most days is Jimmy at the grocery store who hangs out greeting, making delightful talk and wishes for your life.
I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea the poets were not going to show for tomorrow’s 2pm talk. We have spent months talking about this and researching even the title of Poet Laureate, so it had become like royalty in my mind. The talk of visits to all National Parks, poems written of such and tales of the making all down the crapper to me today.
I found I just couldn’t do it. First I just stomped around and Bruce got the brunt of my discourse. Then I looked up the poet and wrote them an email to hopefully get an explanation of something to soothe me, when they owe me nothing.
Then I thought about why my panties were in a wad and I realized it is because I was looking forward to getting poetry. I don’t feel like I really GET poetry. I’ve dabbled in it and love to think in pros and rhymes, but really most of it I have read, I don’t get. I am pragmatic and it doesn’t fall in line with my pragmatism.
So between my disappointment and my wish to see no one else disappointed, I decided this was an opportunity to start some sort of poetry forum and see where this goes. Maybe only one reading for the poor souls who show up tomorrow thinking they will be seeing REAL Poet Laureates and only get this Poet Laurie with her Edna St. Vincent Millay book.